We used to ALWAYS go camping, rain, sleet, hail or SNOW on Memorial Day weekend. We called it memory-able weekend - always trying to build those family memories with the kiddos.
C-man bought himself a dirt bike earlier, and his friend bought one too. They invited him camping and riding memorial day weekend. I was so incredibly grateful. He had just finished his distance learning with school being closed for Covid and I was so happy he could go and cut loose with his friends and dirt bike. They would be sleeping in tents, but there was a wall tent and a camper along. It was supposed to rain and snow most of the weekend. But he could go...and be with good, manly, Christian men...who could be a good example to him...real dads...real men...instead of...the no-man, no example we have at home. I hope that does not sound like I am belittling Rob...I'm don't mean to...but Rob is gone...he's lost somewhere in the fog of his brain...and the shell of the person left behind is not him, and not a dad, and not an example. So the bike got loaded and they asked C to go early and help set things up. He came in the house, threw his camping stuff in his truck and left. I was SO grateful and excited he could go. And I was SO VERY sad that it wasn't us going as a family. I'm so glad he can go be normal. But we don't get normal anymore. It should be us going as a normal family, with his dad and him bombing around on dirt bikes. He drove away and I was so overwhelmed with mixed emotions I just sat in the kitchen and cried. Ugly cried. I'm so proud of him and the man he has become...so independent and on his own...but mourning for him and us...that he has to go do this with other families and not our own...and then so grateful and full of love for these families who welcome him as one of their own. God bless them! So off he went. And had a (cold) Memorial Day camping and dirt biking trip.
And we were home.
And even though I should be getting used to that....it was still weird and sad and lonely and depressing.
So...I HAD to get to the mountains.
And I loaded Rob in the car and off we went, up the mountain!
Here is my Facebook Post from that day.
We used to always go camping memorial day weekend, rain, snow, or (occasionally) sun. Took Rob on a scenic drive after dinner tonight it's another beautiful Mayvember day here in Montana.
Lots of deer, a coyote in bow range and some elk far away and some elk we could just about spit on.
I must still have a farmer gene, cuz I said, "it's alright mama cow, you're okay"
Rob was telling hunting and snowmobiling stories...we know just about every inch of this place. I'd have liked to have my sled.
I can't help but wonder how Cody is faring in a tent on a mountain right now...
We saw a LOT of elk and several cows up close. They were singles, dropping and hiding their calves. I felt a lot better...and I LOVE snow...but it made me want to go "REAL" snowmobiling for once again...and felt like that will never happen. But, Rob perked up and had a good time and became a chatty Kathy until we got back down to the highway. Then he was slumped back over with his eyes closed again. I still want to cry with both gratitude and sadness that we will never be able to be on a family dirt bike/atv camping trip again.
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