I should be able to get caught up on sleep and rest on a weekend...sometime...but we are weekend warriors, and I find myself exhausted again on a Monday morning.
It looks to be a busy week, too, so I'll need to find some time to steal a cat nap somewhere along the line.
I had to get off work early on Friday to get to school in time to grab Buddy and get him ready for playing BB during half time of the high school game. Unfortunately, they had him scheduled to play during the JV game, which started at 4, so it was doubtful that Hubby would be able to make it. Fridays are generally the worst for him at work, and his schedule is highly unpredictable on Friday evenings. He usually ends up working late. I sat in the stands, sorry that he would miss it....not just because he is the dad, missing the event....but because...well...what if?? And I thought to myself about the many many times due to his work schedule, that I had acted as a single mom. In so many areas, it is (unfortunately) just the kids and I. Hubby wishes he could participate more, but he is at work and needs to put in his hours. So, I cherish the time spent socializing with my other "mom-friends" knowing that someday...someday they might be the only ones with me. Has God been slowly preparing me for the life of a single parent? I hope not. I hope I never lose Hubby. But...if I am going to...then thank the good Lord for helping prepare me in advance.
So I cherish the smiles, giggles, laughter and love of my friends, and we whisper and giggle in the stands like a couple of middle school girls. These ladies are so much more than "friends." They are my sisters in Christ. They know my true heart. We share the same Lord and Maker - our FATHER in Heaven. We are closer than "friends" - our very souls understand each other - and we love each other with the Father's love! Oh how I thank God for giving me these friends! I need them desperately in my life. I know without a shadow of a doubt, that if I ever need them - for anything - now or in the future - they will always be there and I will always have them to lean on. Thank you, Lord, for providing me with such good family!!
My phone rings, and Hubby asks when the little man will be playing. He also asks what we are doing on Monday evening. He is rearranging his work schedule with his boss to insure that he can make it to the game in time. If he can push some of his work to Monday evening, then he can get off work with barely enough time to catch the game. We have lots of 4-H activities on Monday, so he won't miss much if he works late. He manages to arrive at the game with a few minutes to spare. Punkin and I spy him thru the windows and wave excitedly. Not only is it nice to see him, but it will be so nice to have him sitting next to me at the games! Below us, the 3rd and 4th graders come out wearing little school jerseys, waiting anxiously for their chance on the court. Moms hold their breath in anticipation. We cheer on the high school boys while glancing down at our little guys. As moms, we know how fast time flies, knowing that in a few short years it will be our kids on the court. I want to get some good pictures, so I make my way down to the court at halftime, and try to preserve the memory...not just for me...or even for the little man...but for Hubby...how many of the kids' games will he be able to see? How many will he miss? I am SO happy he is here to watch the little man's first time on the big court in front of a home crowd. The buzzer sounds and the high school boys high five and fist bump the little guys as they come off the court. I love our school. I love the sense of community and shared love. We are all family in Christ - brothers and sisters in Christ our Lord - and to see the "big kids" cheering on the little kids, when it is usually the other way around. My heart skips a beat and I catch my breath for a second, as I pause to thank the Lord for giving us a FAMILY. I push the bad thoughts to the side, and hurry back to sit next to Hubby, hold his hand, laugh, smile, cheer loud, and just plain enjoy the evening.
We have a busy day planned for Saturday and we are all tired, so we don't make it through the end of the games before we head home. Our friend has left a trailer with 3 snowmobiles and a dirt bike parked in our driveway. Hubby is supposed to work on them in his "free time" (he doesn't have free time). We will need to rearrange everything in the driveway before we can go to bed. I point the kids into the house and get a warmer coat on. First we move everything stacked behind the camper...then hook up to the camper to push it back and make room for Andy's trailer. We had to loosen the sleds on the sled deck and push them to the outside of the deck, so that there was enough room to hitch up. Got the camper pushed back another 8 feet or so. Unhook everything and hook up to the Andy's trailer....get it backed in front of the camper...barely fits. unhook again and repark until we hook up to our trailer in the morning. Hubby climbs on the sled deck to make sure Punkin's sled is running right, while I wrap a logging chain around the 3 sleds and the dirt bike and padlock them together. Then we chain and padlock the sled trailer to the camper. Soon I am helping change spark plugs in Punkin's sled. I enjoy working outside with Hubby, as we have such a spirit of teamwork and comraderie. I cherish even these moments....we work so well together...I don't think there is anyone I can work so easily with. Soon I can get my car to fit in the driveway and we are done and can go inside. Kids are passed out sleeping in various locations in the house. We crawl in bed and snuggle...and he twitches...and I push back my initial reaction of being irritated by being kept awake, and start praying. I would rather have him here, alive and twitching, than laying alone in an empty bed. oh, Please, Please PLEASE, dear Lord, do not let him be sick....but if it's Your will, then give me the strength to get through this....and I let sleep claim me.
As always, morning comes way too early, and I start packing our snowmobile gear while Hubby hooks up the trailer. Kids are slow moving, but up and ready to go try somewhere new. We head to Taylor's Fork and start unloading sleds. By the time the kids are geared up and pile out of the truck, Hubby and I have pushed the trailer back and are getting the ramp ready for the sled deck. Punkin says, "you guys are, like, in stereo!" I smile. Yes - we have a system down and can work together without even talking. We just go into auto pilot and hook up the ramp together. It's funny - when we ride with other people - they often want to help us with the ramp - and I appreciate that - but it usually ends up slowing us down and there is more confusion. Maybe I need to SPEAK to them, since they cannot read my mind like Hubby does. ha ha ha.
What a great day of riding. We are so impressed with the kids. They are really doing great! Of course, we are biased, and we know that, but when I shoot up a gully full of powder and head back down to the trail, I am shocked and surprised to find that the Little Man followed me up it! He wasn't supposed to follow me! But he did! Turkey! I holler at Hubby - "He wasn't supposed to follow me up there!" and Hubby laughs a great belly laugh and we head down the trail some more. Punkin is my trail racer...if we didn't have to wait for the little man to keep up, I'm pretty sure she'd love to whip it up and race me down the trail. They both put about 60 miles on their sleds today, and are looking for more meadows on the way out!
We get everyone loaded in the truck, eat a few snacks, and "bench race" half the way home. So many great memories and "remember whens" added to the cache today. sigh.
We made it home in time to watch a movie before bed. Oh what a bunch of laughter we had. Hubby is so full of one-liners...it's just great....and again...I cherish each moment, and ponder them in my heart. How many more days like this will we have?
Sundays are wonderful refreshing days for body, mind and spirit. I sit in church and lean against Hubby's shoulder. I hold his hands while we sing. Little Man is sitting up front with the Cadets for Cadet Sunday, and at one point I look down and see Hubby is clinging to both Punkin and my hands. and I watch his fingers twitch, and his feet shuffle. I'm fidgety too - I have a hard time getting comfortable on the wooden pews, and my bad knee always gets locked up during the sermon, but I glance back at Hubby's hands...and wonder if he can force the twitching to stop. I close my eyes and will my heart and mind to remember this moment forever. I love sitting next to him in church. I don't particularly want to sit alone some day. So I scootch even closer. In the fellowship hall after the service, I find that I cannot keep my hands off of him. I just need to touch him while I can. I keep my hand on his arm. The kids are impatient to leave, but he is talking to someone. It is important to allow him the time to talk with his brothers in Christ. We wait as patiently as possible, and I keep holding his arm. After a quick lunch and running over to take care of my folks' place, we somehow squeeze onto the couch together and try to nap. He is incredibly cozy. I am in a lot of pain, trying to balance on the couch, but I don't want to move. Eventually, the guilt of leaving laundry in the washer and the pain in my neck drives me from the couch. I know we need to go to night church, but I just don't want to interrupt his sleep. He looks so peaceful...other than the snoring...he looks so peaceful when he sleeps. He doesn't twitch in his sleep....
We have been ridiculed for always being so busy on the weekends...and for not staying home and doing housework, etc. But we'll have plenty of time for housework someday.
right now...
right now...we build memories...
and so, Monday morning comes, and we drag ourselves out of bed and start another week of activity.
I've been at work for a few hours, and I already miss him.
I trust...I hope...I pray...I wait...and I have faith in my good Lord and Savior.
HE alone will give me strength and peace.
it's going to be okay.
no matter what...
it's going to be okay.
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