Where we are...Year 2 (January 2018)

Where we are – Year 2

Year 2…Where are we?  How are we?

Rob is doing well. 

This disease is like one step forward, and two steps back each day. 

Big picture wise, we are good.  We understand that God has a plan and a good and perfect will for our lives.  He works all things together for our good.  But, sometimes, in the small things, it is hard.  There are hard things.  Hard days.  Hard moments.  But these help show us God’s strength and peace, and I can only pray the HE is glorified through this walk.

So – 2 years since Rob’s diagnosis…

He goes to physical therapy once a week.  They mostly work on keeping his balance.  His balance and walking is getting significantly worse, but he is working hard to keep it.  I am so grateful our trip to Alaska was this past summer, because I don’t think he would be able to do most of it by this coming summer. Part of his balance problems are compounded by the involuntary movements, as he rocks side to side.  Some days he starts to tip over backwards.  He has not fallen much, except for times on snow and ice.  Stairs are a challenge for him.  Getting in and out of bleachers in the gym are not fun.    

He has lost quite a bit of confidence and independence.  Which is very hard to see.  I mean – he was like… McGuyver and John Coulter or Jeremiah Johnson and Davy Crockett and Fred Bear all rolled into one. I’ve always said, you could kidnap him a night, blind fold him, drop him out of a helicopter, and he’d know exactly where he was and walk out in hours with a smile on his face.  And he could build or repair anything.  A survivor not typically seen in today’s world.  But…now, he doesn’t like to sit in church without me.  If I am sick or need to sit in the nursery – he would rather stay home.  If I am serving in the nursery or as a tot church teacher, he comes down to my room to find me before going to the fellowship hall.  He has stopped going to basketball games if I need to work concessions and can’t sit with him.  Regardless of the fact that every single person in either building (church or MCS) would LOVE to sit with him and “keep an eye on him” and care for his needs…he would rather stay home.  Running errands around Christmas became difficult, as he cannot be alone in a store.  He has to be next to me.  He isn’t sure where to go or what to do without someone else keeping track of him.  The kids would try to lead him one way or the other so we could split up and do our Christmas shopping…but he always returned to me.  I took Heidi to the mall and wanted to do some girl-shopping, but he stands in the middle of the clothing store, rocking back and forth and following me.  He could not be more than 10 steps from me.  He follows me around our home, much like a pre-schooler.  Even if I announce that I am going to the bathroom, he will follow me and stand there.   

Please understand…I do not say these things as a complaint or out of frustration or because I’m annoyed, or as though I am blaming him for these things…but I MUST share them to be completely honest about what life in our home looks like. 

He has lost his confidence.  Yet, at the same time, he fights to keep his independence.  He refuses to watch tv or movies during the day.  He tries to stay active.  He does some house chores for me or tries to work on projects in the garage.  He messes around with the snowmobiles.  He drives himself to his PT appointments and occasionally to the parts store.  But, I have seen him have difficulty using his credit card at the gas pump or the store.  And he called me in a panic one day, while I was in a meeting at work, because he was trying to use an ATM and it charged him, but did not give him his money.  So I am going to have to start giving him cash allowance, I suppose.  He has not been going anywhere on his own lately, as he doesn’t like walking on slippery roads/parking lots/sidewalks without someone there with him.  So that is good.  

His involuntary movements are significantly worse, but he just started a (very expensive) medication that should make a difference.  I had to fight with insurance companies, manufacturer, etc. to get all the paperwork straightened out, but…now we are set for the year.  His voluntary movements are jerky and somewhat uncontrolled.  For example, if he wants to hand me something, it often ends up shoved in my face.  If he wants to take a drink of water, the cup ends up at eye level and sloshing over.  He knocked his water glass over so many times that we got him a camelback water bottle for Christmas and now he can stay hydrated without spilling water everywhere.  He also has lost his dexterity, so if he is working on something, he will either drop parts or break them.  He doesn’t know how hard he is squeezing things, and he wants to “do it right” so he squeezes too hard and breaks things.  The hope is that by controlling his involuntary movements with this medication, his balance and voluntary or controlled movements will improve.       

His choking is becoming worse.  He eats very slowly, taking small bites and trying to chew, but he regularly coughs, chokes and clears his throat while eating or drinking. He concentrates very hard and always sits at the table and we try not to have him talk while we eat, although after sitting home alone all day, he would like to connect with us somehow.  Not that he can keep up with a conversation very well even when he isn’t eating…unless, of course, you are one of the people he catches after church and he can go into GREAT detail about something that happened in the past. J  Although he has begun to mix up people's names or mix up dates, or give the wrong information out to people in a conversation.  I don't bother trying to correct him.  

His dementia, short term memory loss, moods, etc. are all deteriorating as expected. He will insist he has "never been" somewhere, but we all remember him being there.  He argues with us about things, but we try not to argue back...for what good would it do?  In the long run, it does not matter if he has the wrong information or his memories are incorrect.  No need to start an argument and get him agitated.   

His reaction time, time awareness and spatial reasoning are worsening, but I am very grateful he can still back the sled trailer in the tiny gap next to our house.  J  

He tires out easily and usually naps every afternoon.  He says he wakes up well rested in the mornings, but I believe he has a terrible time sleeping.  He tosses and turns and twitches and moans and makes it nearly impossible for me to sleep.  He is usually awake from 2:30 or 3 am until 4:30 or 5.  But, I try hard not to be frustrated for lack of sleep, because someday I will get plenty of sleep as I lay in bed all alone.  He does take a sleeping pill before bed which seems to help the first half of the night.  But regardless of his sleeping habits, he wears out easily.  We need to make sure he gets regular naps and snacks or else he gets a little “testy.”  We do see Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde more often…but who can blame the guy?  Besides, the kids and I remind each other that “it is the Huntington’s, not Rob.”  We do miss Rob.  Which probably sounds strange.  But we do miss the old Rob a lot…he shows up sometimes, but most of the time, Huntington’s Rob is the person in the house.  And we just remind each other, again and again, it’s the disease, not him.

He is able to stay home by himself and work on little projects.  He tries to stay as busy and active as possible so that he keeps those functions as long as he can.  He is slowed down because his back gets sore easily.  His circulation isn’t the best, as this disease just continues to attack every part of his body.  His hands and feet are always cold.  The circulation effects his eyes and they get dry and are easily irritated, so it is especially difficult for him to remain in one position for very long.  He usually only lasts 20-30 minutes of sitting, standing or laying down at the most before he needs to readjust.  So sitting in church is difficult for him.  It also seems like everything bothers his eyes or his back. 

He works hard to maintain what he can, because he says, “it’s just easier on everyone if I fight this.”

In quiet moments, he will say, “Well, I have no regrets.  We’ve had a good run.”  God bless him. 

So…it is difficult.  It is hard.  It is not easy or a cake walk. 

So how do I continue to say, “we’re doing good” or “he’s doing good”?

Through it all, we know that God has us in His hands. He is in control.  He loves us, He has a plan for us, and He will see us through.  We have 100% confidence in the Lord.  He has blessed us in countless ways through our church and school families.  We are blessed by many prayer warriors.  Everyone wants to help, but I don’t have many practical ideas yet, although I am going to have to do something about our bathroom at some point.  Ill cash in those rainchecks then.  J  But honestly, we are SO blessed….anonymous gifts that randomly show up in our mailbox, meals delivered, cards, cookies, so many ways.  It is so wonderful to be blessed by each person. 

Overall, we are doing well, but there are the daily struggles and frustrations you would expect.  It isn’t easy, by any means, but God is strong enough to carry us through, and we are blessed in so many unexpected ways!  God is good all the time! We pray that He alone can be glorified as we walk this path.  Thanks for walking it with us! 

September (2017)

September. 

Rob taught me to love September.

Although it was easy to fall in love with the month of clear, crisp blue skies and quivering, quaking aspens waving their friendly golden leaves in a rustling whisper. A month of high mountain country full of nothing but an echoing bugle or soft cow's mew to her calf. A bounding mule deer in velvet disappearing over the ridge at dark. A sky so full of shooting stars and the milky way, that you can clearly walk across a meadow before daybreak. A month of following him, my Rob, around in the woods, meadows, mountain cliffs and scree fields, until he would always, ALWAYS, without fail, send me forward as point after a bull, while he dropped back to call. A month where we could have an entire conversation with just a glance or wink or nod. Where we could break out in whispered church-quiet giggle fits until tears rolled. And years of September months where he consoled my disappointed spirit until I (finally) got that first archery bull. He was so proud. 

September was always a month for creating new memories and reliving the old ones around a fire, in a tent, on a mountain side or in the cab of a truck. For standing on a rocky outcropping at 10,000 feet with the forests and meadows spread out before us, the wind and sun on our face. Or hiking miles in snow so wet that everything on your bow freezes up and you try to stay warm by shoving hand warmers in every pocket....but the elk are bulging and you can't force yourself to hike back to the truck/camp/four wheeler.

By this time of September, he would most likely have an elk on the ground or else have passed on 10 of them to try and get me a chance instead. 

Tonight, I find myself learning a new September. 
Partly because we are in that stage of life, where kids have part time jobs and sports activities and school functions...

But also because he is in the September of his life. 

So instead of leaving my folks in charge of the kids for a week and heading to the hills with my Rob and "the boys", I find myself in the spider infested land known as our crawlspace, while he sits patiently on the floor of our closet giving me instructions through a hole in the floor. 

He is man enough to ask me to help, or to do what he considers to be "his job" as the husband and provider. He can man up to admit that he should not..and cannot...physically crawl under the house...while also recognizing the need to continue to take care of us and provide for us-by teaching me to do it on my own. 

So I can man up and crawl down there (fully clothed and with my hair shoved in a stocking hat to keep the spiders out).
And I can turn off the water to the sprinklers and drain the pipe so he can try to blow them out tomorrow. I can duck walk over to the far wall and take pictures of some wet wood that concerns me. And...I can even pack out my fresh kills...got a double, boys! (No elk or deer, just a couple mice trying to make a winter home.)  All while Rob waits anxiously at the hole into the crawlspace...hovering, rocking back and forth and rubbing his head because he wants to help and make sure I'm okay.
And...I am. 
With our God at our side, I am.

Of course, I'd rather be on a mountain with my Rob of yester-years and our Septembers, but this is where God has placed us. And this new September will be okay. 

(Even tho, I would honestly rather spook another griz off an elk carcass than deal with the creepy crawlies down in spiderland.)

Wow, everyone...so humbling to read these comments. 

But the glory all goes to God...it is HIS strength covering our weaknesses. 

We love you all. Thanks for being a part of our journey. <3 

Also - I would like to correct my statement that God is beside me/beside us. That isn't exactly correct - because HE goes before us - like the good Shepherd that He is. He leads us, He guides us, and He makes our paths straight. Either way, He is close to us, but I don't want to demote Him to Co-pilot when He is actually the captain of the ship!

#Run4Rob (August 2017)

#Run4Rob  #Run4Him  #Runforthosewhocan’t

Shortly after Rob was diagnosed (Jan 2016), I decided I needed to be stronger so I can take care of him. 

Plus, Rob will never run again, but God gave me the gift and the ability to run, so therefore, I should run. 

I used to run - in a different lifetime ago… but, I battled 6 months of bronchitis/walking pneumonia in 2015, and still had some lung issues that were slowing me down…and I really felt the need to get my lungs back in shape.

I thought it was absolutely ridiculous that I couldn’t run 3 miles without stopping to catch my breath (or cough for 10 minutes).  So, I set a goal to be able to run 3 miles without stopping.  It was slow going, getting in shape, because my lungs protested.  Every time I was around anyone who coughed, I would instantly feel my lungs tighten up and a cough would settle in to my chest.  It was a long, slow, haul, healing those lungs back up.  But, I signed up for a 5k in early June 2016, with the goal of running the entire length without stopping.  I mostly made it…there was one hill that gave me some trouble, but I did it, and I ran it much faster than my time goal.

Then what?  I didn’t have a goal anymore, and it was hot out, so I didn’t always like to run during my lunchtime workouts.  I started slacking off…and I didn’t want that.  So I signed up for a 4-mile night run the end of the summer.  I had to stay in shape enough to at least finish a 4 mile run.  I am not a fast runner.  But I can fight my way through and get to the finish line.  It takes me at least a mile to get warmed up and into a rhythm.  But…I managed to run the 4 miles.   My goal was to run it in 46 minutes (12 min/mile – slow, but I’m old and “broken”).  I was able to cross the finish line in 41 minutes!

Well…I no longer had a goal to work for.  So I wanted to end the winter in the same running shape as I entered winter…so I tried to incorporate running at least once per week to my workout routine.  It was fairly hard in the winter.  But I needed to be able to run 3-4 miles by spring, so I could then build upon that.  To force myself to work hard on my winter running, I made set 2 crazy goals.

 

Goal 1) turn my June run into a 10 k – I mean – I know I can run 4, right, so I just need to add another 2 and keep going.

Goal 2) I signed up for a 23 k (15 miles) trail race in the mountains.  Surely, I could do it.  I usually walk 3.5-4 miles per hour, so I thought I should be able to cross the finish line in 5 hours at the worst.  Yup.  I’m nuts.

I’m insane…BUT, it forced me to do much more running over the winter and early spring than normal, and roll into spring in relatively decent running shape.   There were a lot of days I didn’t want to run, but I knew I SHOULD run, because I CAN run…I needed to Run for Rob. 

Let me reiterate…I am not a good runner.  I am slow.  I am old.  I have many broken joints, ligaments, tendons, etc. But, I can honor God and my husband by just going out and doing it.  I put in my headphones with either praise and worship music or one of my favorite sermon series (Confessions of a Happy Sheep, Philip DeCourcy, Know the Truth Radio - https://www.ktt.org/broadcasts/confessions-happy-sheep) and just listen and pray.  I don’t think about the running.  After the first, painful mile, I finally get in a “zone” (slow zone, but zone), and plod along without thinking.  My brain is focused on the Word and the One who made me.  It’s a chance to “be still” and focus on God (even though I am moving along, “picking them up and putting them down” as Rob would say). 

Goal 1 - June 2017 rolled around, and I ran my first 10k.  I didn’t do as good as I wanted.  It was hot out.  I was dehydrated.  The sweeper kept talking to me, and I was like, dude, I’m trying to breathe, here!  But I did it – a little slower than I wanted, but I did it.  Then I went home, loaded the wheelers and took everyone riding, which was fine until I got a migraine waaaay up the mountain.  We had planned to swing through Helena for a cousin’s graduation party, but the migraine won.  It was interesting, but with meds, I got back to the truck and everyone home.  As usual, bit off more than I could chew.

Goal 2 - August 2017:   my goal for the race changed a little, as I spent most of July in Alaska.  I would be happy finishing the race, 5 hours would be great, but…I wasn’t sure I could do it or not.  I did manage to get up and run (with bear spray) a few mornings, but I fully expected to do a substantial amount of walking on my race.  We arrived home from Alaska 2 days before the race.  I went to work for 1 day, ended up working late trying to catch up, came home, and headed out with the truck to spend the night in the mountains so I didn’t have to get up super early the morning of the race.  Unfortunately, on a mountain pass, the truck started shaking and wobbling and I knew I had tire trouble.  I checked the tires several times, and they all looked okay, but the wobble would start as soon as I drove down the road.  It was getting pretty late and the wind was blowing hard, so I didn’t want to drive too far out into the boonies and blow a tire.  So I rolled off the mountain pass and into the nearest town. Of course, everything was closed, so…I didn’t have anyone to help me.  I knew a few people in town and tried to contact them, but no luck.  So, I decided to drive all the way back home going 35 mph on the backroads so I didn’t blow a tire on the interstate or mountain pass.  I got home very very late, crawled in bed, got up very VERY early the next morning and took my car up into the Elkhorn mountains to run the HURL Elkhorn 23k (15 mile) race.

I was far too tired, and not hydrated enough at the beginning, but I popped in my headphones to zone out and just started putting one foot in front of the other.  The first few miles were pretty easy.  And then….the hills.  The course includes over 3,280 feet of elevation gain.  There’s a lot of downhill, too.  I kept thinking, “I hope I don’t have to run over that mountain ahead of me”, only to find out that I did.  But, it was in some absolutely stunning and gorgeous country!  I wished Rob could see it, and was sad that he never will, because it is a non-motorized trail and he is unable to get that far back in the mountains.  So I did stop to take a few pictures here and there along the way to show him.  I was not keeping on pace as well as I had hoped, because the hills were steeper and there was more scree fields than I had anticipated.  At one point, I just wanted to stay in front of “the laughers” – a group of ladies happily laughing and chatting along the way.  I mean – really?  But I needed more food, but couldn’t really eat while I was running.  I was able to get a gel pack in, so that was good.  Then down into the valley and back up the mountain on the other side. 

Every time I thought it was getting tough, I remembered it wasn’t as hard as anything Rob is going through as his body slowly shuts down.  The laughers eventually caught up with me when I stopped to take some pictures for Rob, and I made the mistake of pacing with them for the next 3-4 miles.  I should have stuck with my own pace and pushed a little harder.  I thought my time was still on target, but when my phone said I was 12 miles in, I still had more than 3 miles to the finish.  When I got to the second aid station, I didn’t take any food or water, because I was still sucking off my camel back, and the fruit looked a little marginal from sitting out all day…  Another ½ mile or so down the trail and my camelback was dry.  Great.  I was desperate for some food and water, but just couldn’t stop to deal with it, so I kept plodding on. You learn all kinds of new things when you try your first long distance mountain trail race.   I could hardly pick up my feet, but could hear shouting in the distance from the finish line, so I managed to break into a decent pace.  I finished in 5:17 – so 17 minutes over my goal time.  Shucks.  BUT – I finished!!! Praise the Lord!

I’m insane to even sign up for it, but I feel like I need to continue “running for Rob.”  It was beautiful, horrible, terrible and amazing. 

So…what’s up for 2018?

Well, I’m trying to continue running a little.

I’ll run both the 10k and the 23k again this year, barring any injuries.  I hope I can finish the 23k in under 5 hours.  I’m scared to set a goal of 4 ½ hours, but I think that’s what I am aiming for – as long as I can keep my food and water intake up a little better this year, I should be able to do it.  After all, I need to #Run4Rob, #Run4Him and #Runforthosewhocant.

The Gift (March 2017)

The Gift

Way back in the day, Rob and I had a difficult time picking a honeymoon location.  We had 3 destinations in mind – Alaska, Australia/New Zealand, and Hawaii.  After some consideration, we ruled out heading down under, as it would just be far too expensive to fly there.  That left us to decide between Alaska and Hawaii.  Alaska was so “us.”  We could hunt, we could fish, we could be in the mountains, we could camp, and we could just be….”us.”  So we expected that we would be headed there for a vacation fairly soon anyway.  After weeks of deliberation, we finally decided that Hawaii was more of a once in a lifetime destination.  We could go, see it, and then come home. 

Hawaii was great…we were a couple of rednecks turned loose on the small island of Kauaii – it was pretty much just us and the locals!  It was GREAT!  But after a couple of days, we were ready to be home and in the mountains.  In fact, as we made the long drive back from Washington in old blue (Rob’s ’78 Chevy truck loaded down with wedding stuff), and we topped the rise at Cardwell Hill and got our first glimpse of the Bridgers, I started to cry.  I was home. 

I had miraculously drawn a moose tag my first try, so that fall we headed to the mountains for a week in a USFS cabin…which cost us $25/night and some gas for the ATV.  And that seemed much more like our REAL honeymoon.  Because it was so us. 

I have never regretted going to Hawaii for our honeymoon, because it was special.  We got to do things we would never have an opportunity to try again, like boogie boarding in the waves, snorkeling along the NaPali coastline, a helicopter ride over the ocean…it really was a good choice.

However, we always planned on going to Alaska “in a year or two.”  One year became two, two became five, five became ten…and slowly, we gave up on that dream.  Children came along with more responsibility.  Job changes.  Income changes.  The thought of going just seemed unattainable.  Most of our “vacation” time was spent in September bow hunting camps or summer camping trips with the family, or family weekend adventures in the mountains throughout the year.  For a while, we aimed to go moose hunting in Alaska for our 10 year anniversary, but that came and went and we pushed it to our 20^th anniversary.  But even before our 10^th anniversary, we kind of gave up on the dream of heading to Alaska.  It just wasn’t going to happen.  Time to face reality and move on with life. In fact, I have not seriously considered a trip to Alaska in about 12-13 years.

Now here we are, living with a terminal illness, and stretched finances.  The Lord has continuously provided for all of our needs throughout this time.  Cards came in the mail with cash in them.  The deacons at church check with us every month to see if we are short.  My parents chipped in for some house payments.  There have been individuals who shake our hand at church and slip a $10, $20, or even $100 bill into the handshake.  Cards appeared at Christmas with anything from grocery store gift cards to some large checks.  People have “anonymously” covered my kids’ school lunch accounts. We were surprised to have an athletic pass donated to us, so we can attend the home games and support our pep band-er and school teams without having to pay at the door each time. God perfectly timed last January – Rob was fired the 6^th – so he could collect unemployment.  We received a diagnosis on the 13^th, so we could start applying for disability.  His unemployment ran out, and we had a couple of thin months…then his disability came through on the first try, and was retroactive back to almost the exact day his unemployment ran out!  Prior to receiving disability, we were concerned about making our mortgage payments.  Unemployment did not pay as much as his salary had been, and we knew how long the process of disability takes, but we didn’t want to lose the house.  Rob had an old retirement account, and he says, “well, I’ll never get to use that, I’ll be gone long before I qualify for retirement” so we debated about using it to pay off the house.  We pulled out his latest retirement account statement and then I looked up the payoff balance on our mortgage…and they were the same…almost down to the exact penny.  Do you have chills yet?  How merciful and gracious is our Father who lavishes every good and perfect gift upon us!  We placed our trust in Him…and He has continually provided.

We have a few items on Rob’s bucket list – but not many.  Nothing too extravagant, but we are trying to take a few more trips.  Last fall we headed to Glendive for a weekend to visit the Creation dinosaur museum and Makoshika State Park where we found some cool fossils.  We would like to head to the big Creation Museum and Noah’s Ark out east “sometime.”  This past February, we visited Rob’s brother in Denver for a long weekend.

When we came home from Denver and went to church the following Sunday, I saw a suspicious package in our mailbox.  I recognized the handwriting, but wasn’t sure what I would find inside.  We piled in the car and I reached inside and pulled out a small candy heart box. “Oh, isn’t that sweet?!”  Then I noticed it had been opened and re-taped shut.  Hmmm…I know we are Dutch out here, but this box only holds 5 candies to begin with…so I open it and it has 4 or 5 taffies inside.  Then a piece of paper fell out of the lid that I didn’t recognize immediately as a check.  I looked, “Oh, it’s a check, how sweet!”  Now…let me explain something.  The check was folded in a special way.  So it looked like it was written for one, normal amount. 

But then I opened it.

And I almost dropped it.

Behind the “normal” amount, was written the word “thousand.”

Wait….

What?

My jaw sat in my lap and I literally gasped for air…

WHAT???!!!

I cannot accept this check!!

Rob, the kids and I were all speechless…

This.

Is.

Ridiculous!

I take a few deep breaths to calm my shaking hands and back the car out of the parking spot and drive home.

I immediately call my anonymous friend, “what did you do?!”

He laughs.

“No, I can’t accept this! This is too much!”

He chuckles.

“What’s going on?!”

“Well, now, sometimes your ship comes in and the Lord just wants you to share it.  But this comes with a stipulation.  You have to use this money to take a family vacation somewhere that Rob has always wanted to go. Can you do that?”

And the phone is silent because I am speechless again.

I stammer, “um, yeah, ya, I can do that, I mean, we can do that.”

At this point, I am still thinking I need to be responsible and Dutch and use the money sparingly, to pay off our home or something along those lines.  Right until he says, “so, where you going to go?”

More stammering and stuttering….

“well, I mean, we’ve always wanted to go to Alaska, but…”

Rob’s eyes and ears perk up – “I’ve always wanted to go to Alaska!” he says.

Okay….

Alaska it is…

I stumble my way through the rest of the phone conversation and thousands of “thank yous.” None of this seems real yet.

We go to Sunday dinner completely dazed.

Stunned.

Dumbfounded.

Flabbergasted.

Bewildered.

Astonished.

Stupified.

It took me at least 2 weeks to realize the money was real.

I had to open a special checking account.

I felt so irresponsible going on vacation…but that is why the check was given to us…

And we determined, that yes, indeed, we would head to Alaska.

There wouldn’t be a big bow hunt for moose or dall sheep, but we could fish.  And we can do it before Rob can’t do it anymore.

Out came the calendar, phone calls were made, google worked overtime, and it looked like we could make it fit…and during the salmon run!

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

So, reservations were made, charters were purchased, and plane tickets bought.

As I stare at the confirmation letter for our airfare, it finally dawns on me.

We ARE flying to Alaska…for our 20^th Anniversary…ON our Anniversary.

Chills.

Tears.

Goosebumps.

Overwhelming Gratitude.

Oh, Lord.

You are so gracious and good to us!

Throughout this whole journey, He continually proves, that He will care for our every need..and then some…He is giving us some of our wants as well…in fact, He cares for us so lavishly, that He is gifting us a want we had forgotten we even wanted. 

One again, a gift leaves me dazed.

Stunned.

Dumbfounded.

Flabbergasted.

Bewildered.

Astonished.

Stupified.

Overwhelmed.

God is good.  And loving.  And merciful.  And full of grace.  And trustworthy.

What a gift!

Speechless.

When God Messes With Your Life Plan...

This is another one...that I could not state any better than it is already written.

God is SO good - all the time!

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/when-god-messes-with-your-life-plan

Even When...

I could not say this any better!!

Please read this one! :)

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-if-the-worst-happens

Denver Vacation February 2017

We don’t take vacations.  We aren’t good at it.  Mostly because Rob was always at work, so we couldn’t go.  If he had time off work, we would use it to go camping or for hunting camp.  Granted, we prefer being in the mountains to anywhere there are crowds of people, cities, tourist attractions, etc.  But also, we couldn’t afford to go either.  So we’ve always stuck close to home for the most part.

 

We did go to Glendive, Montana for a weekend to see the dinosaur museum (best one ever) and Makoshika State Park.  But honestly, our last family vacation (with all of us there) was driving to Reno for 3 days so Cody could bugle in the World Championship elk calling contest.  He was 6.  That was half of his lifetime ago! 

Last June we had an impromptu family reunion/camping trip with the In-Laws since several of them were crazy enough to sign up to run a half marathon in Yellowstone.  Sometime during that trip, we started to seriously think about visiting Rob’s brother Sky (and his fiance Whit) in Denver.  Why not?  Well…of course, it’s expensive, but I budgeted out the trip costs and we should be able to swing it.

So…off to Denver we decided to go.  And shoot – if we are planning to head to Denver, we might as well pair it with a pro game!  We aren’t fans of the Denver Broncos, and the tickets are crazy expensive, but we do like the Golden State Warriors, so we thought we should catch them in Denver! 

February rolled around and we hit the road to Denver.  It was great to get Rob out.  Some parts of the trip were a little stressful, because all of the responsibility is on me…but…overall, it was so great to get out and have family time.  We were able to laugh a lot in the car.  We took in the big city – which is always an eye opener for people like us who think Bozeman’s population has gotten completely out of control. 

We stayed at a hotel in Sheridan on the way down so that the kids could swim, and we had a great time.  The hotel was brand new and very clean.  We were the only people in the pool.  Rob has lost his ability to swim, and I had to help him in and out so he wouldn’t slip, but he stood in the pool and laughed at us while the kids and I goofed off.  We stuffed him in the car again in the morning and hit the road to Denver.  We laughed over so many things, it was wonderful.  He started telling a bunch of his old hunting stories and I tried to write some of them down so I could remember them, but I couldn’t get them down while I was driving.  Oh man, has he lived an interesting life!

This was the first time we used his handicapped tag, but he was real accepting of us using it, especially in the city.  We had a great time with Sky and Whit.  We went to a Dave and Buster’s and Rob struggled with quite a few of the games, but then we got him on a race car driving game and after a few rounds he was “tearing up the track.” – It was bittersweet watching him.  He used to be a professional driver, but now his driving is limited to very short trips near the house, so he had to drive a video game instead. 

We went to the zoo, and he did a pretty good job of walking around.  He wasn’t afraid to tell us when he was tired and needed a break.  We also went to the aquarium and did the same thing.  The aquarium had an escalator that posed an issue momentarily, but he got it.  I do have to help him on uneven ground and stairs a lot more now, but he is usually willing to accept help.  Some of the crowded places at the zoo were a bit overwhelming for him balance wise, but he did okay.  

Sky and Whit live in a gorgeous neighborhood along the river with a lot of walking trails, so I would “take the dogs” for a walk just to get Rob some PT time.  He used to out walk me like mad, but now we all have to take it pretty slow so he can keep up.  We also can’t go very far…but that’s okay. 

Cody got to go to top golf, which was awesome, and even play some holes on the course with Skyler. 

We had fun at the warriors vs. nuggets game.

It was a short, short trip, but it was good for him and for all of us, to have the time together.  We also realized that it isn’t that intimidating to take a trip that doesn’t end up camping in the mountains!  Ha ha.  Most importantly, we were able to make some memories and work on some family bonding.  Cody can always remember going to watch the Warriors play in Denver with his dad and “Uncle Bucky.” 

We will have to consider visiting family or traveling more often.  Denver is not that far to go.  We’ll just have to try to budget some more travel time in.  Especially before it becomes too difficult for Rob to travel long distances.