The Gift (March 2017)

The Gift

Way back in the day, Rob and I had a difficult time picking a honeymoon location.  We had 3 destinations in mind – Alaska, Australia/New Zealand, and Hawaii.  After some consideration, we ruled out heading down under, as it would just be far too expensive to fly there.  That left us to decide between Alaska and Hawaii.  Alaska was so “us.”  We could hunt, we could fish, we could be in the mountains, we could camp, and we could just be….”us.”  So we expected that we would be headed there for a vacation fairly soon anyway.  After weeks of deliberation, we finally decided that Hawaii was more of a once in a lifetime destination.  We could go, see it, and then come home. 

Hawaii was great…we were a couple of rednecks turned loose on the small island of Kauaii – it was pretty much just us and the locals!  It was GREAT!  But after a couple of days, we were ready to be home and in the mountains.  In fact, as we made the long drive back from Washington in old blue (Rob’s ’78 Chevy truck loaded down with wedding stuff), and we topped the rise at Cardwell Hill and got our first glimpse of the Bridgers, I started to cry.  I was home. 

I had miraculously drawn a moose tag my first try, so that fall we headed to the mountains for a week in a USFS cabin…which cost us $25/night and some gas for the ATV.  And that seemed much more like our REAL honeymoon.  Because it was so us. 

I have never regretted going to Hawaii for our honeymoon, because it was special.  We got to do things we would never have an opportunity to try again, like boogie boarding in the waves, snorkeling along the NaPali coastline, a helicopter ride over the ocean…it really was a good choice.

However, we always planned on going to Alaska “in a year or two.”  One year became two, two became five, five became ten…and slowly, we gave up on that dream.  Children came along with more responsibility.  Job changes.  Income changes.  The thought of going just seemed unattainable.  Most of our “vacation” time was spent in September bow hunting camps or summer camping trips with the family, or family weekend adventures in the mountains throughout the year.  For a while, we aimed to go moose hunting in Alaska for our 10 year anniversary, but that came and went and we pushed it to our 20^th anniversary.  But even before our 10^th anniversary, we kind of gave up on the dream of heading to Alaska.  It just wasn’t going to happen.  Time to face reality and move on with life. In fact, I have not seriously considered a trip to Alaska in about 12-13 years.

Now here we are, living with a terminal illness, and stretched finances.  The Lord has continuously provided for all of our needs throughout this time.  Cards came in the mail with cash in them.  The deacons at church check with us every month to see if we are short.  My parents chipped in for some house payments.  There have been individuals who shake our hand at church and slip a $10, $20, or even $100 bill into the handshake.  Cards appeared at Christmas with anything from grocery store gift cards to some large checks.  People have “anonymously” covered my kids’ school lunch accounts. We were surprised to have an athletic pass donated to us, so we can attend the home games and support our pep band-er and school teams without having to pay at the door each time. God perfectly timed last January – Rob was fired the 6^th – so he could collect unemployment.  We received a diagnosis on the 13^th, so we could start applying for disability.  His unemployment ran out, and we had a couple of thin months…then his disability came through on the first try, and was retroactive back to almost the exact day his unemployment ran out!  Prior to receiving disability, we were concerned about making our mortgage payments.  Unemployment did not pay as much as his salary had been, and we knew how long the process of disability takes, but we didn’t want to lose the house.  Rob had an old retirement account, and he says, “well, I’ll never get to use that, I’ll be gone long before I qualify for retirement” so we debated about using it to pay off the house.  We pulled out his latest retirement account statement and then I looked up the payoff balance on our mortgage…and they were the same…almost down to the exact penny.  Do you have chills yet?  How merciful and gracious is our Father who lavishes every good and perfect gift upon us!  We placed our trust in Him…and He has continually provided.

We have a few items on Rob’s bucket list – but not many.  Nothing too extravagant, but we are trying to take a few more trips.  Last fall we headed to Glendive for a weekend to visit the Creation dinosaur museum and Makoshika State Park where we found some cool fossils.  We would like to head to the big Creation Museum and Noah’s Ark out east “sometime.”  This past February, we visited Rob’s brother in Denver for a long weekend.

When we came home from Denver and went to church the following Sunday, I saw a suspicious package in our mailbox.  I recognized the handwriting, but wasn’t sure what I would find inside.  We piled in the car and I reached inside and pulled out a small candy heart box. “Oh, isn’t that sweet?!”  Then I noticed it had been opened and re-taped shut.  Hmmm…I know we are Dutch out here, but this box only holds 5 candies to begin with…so I open it and it has 4 or 5 taffies inside.  Then a piece of paper fell out of the lid that I didn’t recognize immediately as a check.  I looked, “Oh, it’s a check, how sweet!”  Now…let me explain something.  The check was folded in a special way.  So it looked like it was written for one, normal amount. 

But then I opened it.

And I almost dropped it.

Behind the “normal” amount, was written the word “thousand.”

Wait….

What?

My jaw sat in my lap and I literally gasped for air…

WHAT???!!!

I cannot accept this check!!

Rob, the kids and I were all speechless…

This.

Is.

Ridiculous!

I take a few deep breaths to calm my shaking hands and back the car out of the parking spot and drive home.

I immediately call my anonymous friend, “what did you do?!”

He laughs.

“No, I can’t accept this! This is too much!”

He chuckles.

“What’s going on?!”

“Well, now, sometimes your ship comes in and the Lord just wants you to share it.  But this comes with a stipulation.  You have to use this money to take a family vacation somewhere that Rob has always wanted to go. Can you do that?”

And the phone is silent because I am speechless again.

I stammer, “um, yeah, ya, I can do that, I mean, we can do that.”

At this point, I am still thinking I need to be responsible and Dutch and use the money sparingly, to pay off our home or something along those lines.  Right until he says, “so, where you going to go?”

More stammering and stuttering….

“well, I mean, we’ve always wanted to go to Alaska, but…”

Rob’s eyes and ears perk up – “I’ve always wanted to go to Alaska!” he says.

Okay….

Alaska it is…

I stumble my way through the rest of the phone conversation and thousands of “thank yous.” None of this seems real yet.

We go to Sunday dinner completely dazed.

Stunned.

Dumbfounded.

Flabbergasted.

Bewildered.

Astonished.

Stupified.

It took me at least 2 weeks to realize the money was real.

I had to open a special checking account.

I felt so irresponsible going on vacation…but that is why the check was given to us…

And we determined, that yes, indeed, we would head to Alaska.

There wouldn’t be a big bow hunt for moose or dall sheep, but we could fish.  And we can do it before Rob can’t do it anymore.

Out came the calendar, phone calls were made, google worked overtime, and it looked like we could make it fit…and during the salmon run!

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

So, reservations were made, charters were purchased, and plane tickets bought.

As I stare at the confirmation letter for our airfare, it finally dawns on me.

We ARE flying to Alaska…for our 20^th Anniversary…ON our Anniversary.

Chills.

Tears.

Goosebumps.

Overwhelming Gratitude.

Oh, Lord.

You are so gracious and good to us!

Throughout this whole journey, He continually proves, that He will care for our every need..and then some…He is giving us some of our wants as well…in fact, He cares for us so lavishly, that He is gifting us a want we had forgotten we even wanted. 

One again, a gift leaves me dazed.

Stunned.

Dumbfounded.

Flabbergasted.

Bewildered.

Astonished.

Stupified.

Overwhelmed.

God is good.  And loving.  And merciful.  And full of grace.  And trustworthy.

What a gift!

Speechless.