Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Big Changes Jan 29, 2020


Changes
January 29

We have some big changes right now! I am surprised how ridiculously excited I am for some of our changes…

1) Meals on Wheels!  Heidi is off on vacation to Arizona with her grandparents.  This means Rob is home alone in the daytime now.  So…..(drum roll)…I signed him up for Meals on Wheels!  I was sure he would hate it.  SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE! (in your best Gomer Pyle impersonation)… He LOVES it.  I have been making him personal meals stacked in the fridge and labeled with sticky notes.  All he had to do is microwave them for 1 minute.  He was so angry and frustrated with this.  It’s too hard for him to do.  It gives him a headache.  He doesn’t like the food.  This one or that one makes him choke.  He didn’t like having to “fend for himself all the time” (I seriously SERVE him all of his meals and snacks and had his lunches waiting in the fridge for him).  

So…now, 3 days a week, a little old lady stops by and delivers him a hot meal.  And he loves it!  

What?????

2.  Another big change is that I have arranged for some of Rob's friends to come visit him on some of the evenings of Cody’s basketball games. THANK YOU Gentlemen!!!!  It is such a relief to be at a game and not have 87 text messages yelling at me. (slight exaggeration, but…he usually texts me several angry messages during the games).  There have been games where he calls me upset that I expect him to scoop his own food out of the crockpot that I left for him. He expects me to be home NOW. He yells and fusses and carries on about how hard it is to fend for himself – even though I have food in the crockpot.  Some days, I have made a crockpot full of something he specifically requested for dinner, only to have him yell in the phone that he “hates (that food item)”.  But, if I have someone available to stop in and chat, even for just an hour, it changes his entire mood!  

He is so busy talking about the old days of riding dirt bikes, snowmobiles, motocross or hunting, that he isn’t staring at the clock every 3 minutes texting me to come home.  I know it is hard for his friends.  It is hard to see him in the condition he is in. It is hard to have a conversation with him.  He is getting harder and harder to understand when he talks.  Besides mumbling and not opening his mouth, his cognition is bad enough that his stories or conversations are all over the place and never get to where they were going when he started.  He is getting harder and harder to understand!  So I know it isn’t easy to sit and chat with him in the evenings, but I am so grateful for those who have tried it.  It makes a big difference.  I know I need to figure out when to start having a care-giver or even just companion-care come in a couple of times a week to check on him, listen to all of his stories, and make sure he gets a good dinner – especially when I am at work or committee meetings or out running to school events.  It would be helpful for Rob…I just haven’t had the time to check into everything I need to know. 

3. ANTIDEPRESSANTS!  I am also looking forward to his next psych appointment in a couple weeks, so I can get his antidepressants upped to a higher dosage – that should change things drastically for the better.  At least I hope so.  I am exhausted with the negativity. He complains about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE and is frustrated and angry and bitter and we are all so exhausted.  So, we're bumping those suckers up at the next appointment and praying it works! 

4.  Basketball:  At the very end of Cody’s basketball season, Rob decided he could try to come to a basketball game!  This is a MAJOR change.  Everyone in Churchill was soooooooooooooo excited to see him there!  We were able to get him up onto the bottom row of bleachers in the old gym (no handrails), and the seats were hard to watch a game from, but everyone congregated around us because they were happy to see him.  After the game, many people came to shake his hand and check in with him.  I SO appreciate all of you!!!  He also made it to a game in Clyde Park where he was able to see some of his classmates and family.  I love going to games in Shields.  He called a couple of people by the wrong name, but they have all been through this Huntington’s journey with him before.  They were there in high school while his mom was sick and they are there now as his sister and her family are dealing with it.  So…they all KNOW…and love him just the same…and I am very grateful.  I may even cheer (almost) as much for the SV kids as I do for ours.  I love you guys! I really do.  Thanks for loving on Rob and giving him a “safe” place to come home to.  Even if he gets your names wrong when talking to you, he still knows who you are and has many fond memories.  After hearing him call one of you the wrong name, he went on to tell me several football stories, so I know he knows WHO you are, he just can’t get names right.   He really cherished his years as a Clyde Park Blackbird and all of you who made it so special. 



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