Larry the Lump December 29, 2016
On November 4,
2016, I went in for a routine mammogram.
My family has basically zero cancer in our history, so it has never
really been on my radar. Right up until
a few days later when I received a phone call asking me to come back for an
in-depth follow up. I was not very
concerned, but wondered what on earth God had “up his sleeve” so to speak. I
trusted Him. Regardless of the outcome,
I knew He had it under control. So I scheduled appointment number 2. In the meantime, I gained a new friend named
Larry. Larry the Lump. Larry was an unwelcome houseguest who long overstayed
his welcome and didn’t show any signs of leaving any time soon.
Appointment #2
involved a second mammogram targeting a specific area…and then a call back for
an ultrasound to really look at what was puzzling the radiologist. After some time, they determined that Larry wasn’t
there and I was good to go.
Larry, however,
had no intentions of leaving.
Unfortunately, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that they had missed
something. I mean…Larry was still
there…perhaps he just wasn’t photogenic enough for all the paparazzi at
Advanced Medical Imaging. I hated even
telling anyone about it…because the
tests make mistakes all the time. Shoot,
if you breathe wrong you can get a shadow on your “film,” so I decided to just
keep it to myself and not stress anyone else out. Probably a poor choice, since that means no
one is praying for me…which I probably needed at the time.
So…I was all
clear, right?
Well, Larry
didn’t take well to his eviction notice.
He didn’t want to move out. He
didn’t appreciate being ignored, and so he fought HARD to make his presence
known. Stupid Larry. I wasn’t scared or nervous, but couldn’t shake
a feeling that someone needed to do a background check on this Larry guy and
figure out exactly who he was and why he was there.
So along comes
another Doctor appointment as a follow up, and sure enough, Doc doesn’t like
Larry. Doc thinks Larry needs an
eviction notice. Doc wants to know
Larry’s history and identification – who is Larry and why is he here? Ol’ Larry liked keeping everyone guessing at
his real identity. He kept changing his
characteristics so he couldn’t be identified.
Basically, I think Larry was a spy.
Since Larry
wouldn’t provide us with the proper identification documents, Doc wanted to
make sure Larry wasn’t a harmful/threatening fugitive. So…back in to get more pictures of Larry.
My faith was
not wavering. I still trusted the Lord
100%. But there were a few times when I
thought, really? Really Lord? I’m pleased you think I can handle so much,
but I’m not so sure I can. But…if you
call me to it, You will get me through it.
By now, it is
Christmas.
I’m busy. I’m
trying to deal with some family situations. I’m watching my hubby’s health
decline. Trying to help my kids adjust to life – one of which was not doing
well at all at this time. C’mon,
Larry…just tell us who you are, or leave….that’s all we ask! But, instead, I’m scheduled for another round
of mammograms and ultrasounds on Larry.
We are now planning to waterboard him until he gives up his real
identification and purpose. If that
doesn’t work, we’ll be forced to physically remove him put him on the rack and
torture him ‘til he talks (biopsy).
About a week
before my appointment, I started to get concerned…but still completely trusted
God. This sounds like such an
oxymoron. How can you worry, but still
trust? Faith and worry are mutually
exclusive. They occupy the same
space. Whenever one grows, it moves the
other one out. The only way to encourage
faith to grow, is to remove the worry and doubt. I felt my glass was 95% faith, but that 5%
doubt was starting to really bother me. I
concentrated on placing my burdens on the Lord without picking them back up and
carrying them with me. I kept trying to
squash a wiggly, waggling worm of fear and worry as I started to wonder – what
if I am too sick and I don’t live long enough to care for my hubby? Who will take care of his end of life
care? That is too big of a burden on my
children. What will happen to him and
who will care for him? Then I would
squash the worm of worry…because I really do, truly know that God has him. And God has us. No matter the test results. No matter Larry’s identification. No matter anything and no matter
everything. No matter - the Lord is in
control and His plan is good and perfect and we will just do our best to
continue to praise Him and glorify him in all things.
By now, I finally
told a couple of prayer partners who could lift me up in prayer for strength
and peace. You would think I would be
panicking. Not quite yet. I just wanted to make sure I can stay alive
long enough to see the hubby through his Huntington’s. But, since long before we even had a
diagnosis, we trusted the Lord to care for us through a diagnosis. Because I had 100% faith in Him, I knew we
would be okay. No matter what Larry
turned out to be. If I had cancer, well,
I’d deal with it. Maybe I am too
practical? I don’t know….but with
everything else going on in other areas of my life, I did need some prayers.
A few days
after Christmas I had my 44th birthday. A few days after that, I got to take Larry to
go get his picture taken again. He
didn’t want his picture taken. So they
broke out the ultrasound again and zapped Larry good. He still didn’t identify himself, but they
were able to determine that he doesn’t pose a threat. Apparently, Larry the lump is just an
abnormality…no explanation for Larry’s presence other than he is there. He is there and he should not be any kind of
threat. He’s just a random lump.
Perhaps I
passed the test in more ways than one?
Medically and spiritually? I hope so.
Either way, God is good all the time, and all the time, God is
good. Who are we to question Him or His
plans for our lives?
So, when worry
has you down, just get down further – get on your knees and talk to your
Father. Give Him your worries and rise
up leaving your burdens behind. He’s got
it. And He’s got you.
6Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may
lift you up in due time. 7 Cast
all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 8Be
alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion
looking for someone to devour. 9Resist
him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers
throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 10And the God of all grace, who called
you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while,
will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11To him be the power for ever and ever.
Amen. 1
Peter 5:6-11
And we know
that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
